If you don’t need another Christmas cantata, another version of A Christmas Carol, or can’t stand yet another year of the The Nutcracker, and aren’t easily offended – then I have the Christmas show for you. The Club Theatre Company and Club Diversity present All I Want For Christmas… A raunchy, riotous send-up of every Christmas show you’ve ever seen All I want For Christmas… will have you laughing from the first few seconds.

Alexandra Collett and Nicolette Montana play extras for a regional Christmas show. Adam Conn and Robin McQueen play second string actors and Ryan Scarlata is a closeted stage manager with narcolepsy. A freak food poisoning accident causes the cast of 30 to call off sick leaving the stage manager and four actors to scrape together a show in about an hour. The audience gets a backstage pass into the lives of actors: the craziness of a dressing room, the tangled and twisted personal lives, and the frail nature of the creative psyche makes for easy laughs.

Ryan and Adam are the two with the most musical talent in the cast. The highlight of the show is Scarlatta’s scene in lingerie for a gut busting solo. Montana does a couple decent songs but on a whole the women’s strength is acting. Collett should receive an award for being able to eat her way through a show and not balloon up to 300lbs. McQueen plays a ditz so well if you met her on a street corner you’d want to escort her across. For all five actors what might seem like overacting in a serious show plays as true panic.

The script is a tad rough at times, but remember - this is an original show written by members of the company in 2006. The content is definitely for mature audiences (no one under 16 should be admitted). If you are sensitive about religion or politics this may not be the show for you, since everything sacred about the holiday is fodder for raunchy jokes. Conn also directs – his first time – and was brave enough to mix up the script and add scenes. What man wouldn’t write in a lap dance for himself?

Located on South High Street in German Village, Club Theatre Company is housed on the upper level of a majestic old building . There are many fine and casual dining options within walking distance to complete your evening. Drinks are served in the lounge-like theater setting, so be sure to have a designated driver or call a cab. If you’re looking for something different to celebrate the season, then check out Club Diversity’s Christmas show.

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Review by Linsey Griffith
Photos by David Heasley